You could have fooled me about the teasing. [Nobody should listen to Colin's quiet grumbles, he's just a cranky baby.]

[Sigh] I don't know. Maybe I'll meet someone who actually bathes and brushes their hair and I'll throw myself into their arms, begging to be ravished.

[But they need to be really, really clean. Bathing in bleach is a requirement for getting down with Colin.]

And I'm not against touches, I just... Ugh, why am I even attempting to explain this to you?